经常死老公的都知道

“Everything about my married life makes me sick. Whether it’s the sticky feeling of the drug I put in my husband’s milk every morning, the jammed crossbow I set on the upstairs stairs, the revolver under my pillow that turns out to be empty when I try to shoot the monster next to me, or the sudden malfunctioning gas igniter that explodes when I’m out grocery shopping while my husband is still asleep early in the morning…” Bai Wei sat quietly across from the counselor, picking at his fingers.

Counselor: “Wait, are you sure you’re talking about your married life??”

Bai Wei: “Actually, my marriage was very normal. Everything started going wrong after my husband crawled back from the grave. He died a perfectly normal death once, just like everyone does.”

Counselor: “… Did you cause your husband’s death?”

Bai Wei (changing the subject): “I want to continue this marriage until life returns to normal. Otherwise, I won’t be able to claim his death compensation as a spouse. Please provide me with psychological counseling so I can calmly face my married life.”

Counselor: “…”

“Men change after marriage,” a friend cried to Bai Wei. “He comes home from work, lies in bed scrolling through TikTok, doesn’t play the piano, doesn’t clean the backyard, he’s like a moldy potato, a useless blob, an invader, an unrecyclable biological waste.”

Bai Wei: “Yes. My marriage is the same. Before we got married, if he cut his finger, he would bleed. If he got hit by a car, he’d end up in the hospital. Drinking half a moldy coconut would send him to the ICU. Being pushed down the stairs would break half his leg. After our honeymoon, everything changed.”

Friend: “?”

Bai Wei: “Yes, everything changed. Men before and after marriage are like two different species.”

—–

I love my wife. After turning over a new leaf, I fell in love with him at first sight. He’s gentle, caring, polite. When I was pushed down the stairs, when I crawled out of an explosion, when I got run over by a car in front of our garage, he was always there in the hospital, watching over my oxygen tube. So, whether in life or death, I will always be with him.

Managing a marriage is a learning process. I will not leave my wife. If he wants to go back to his parents’ home, I’ll cling to the car chassis and go with him. If he wants to be alone, I’ll turn invisible and coil up in the sewer.

I’ll hide my tent**les, curb my habit of attacking people, tuck away my five extra eyes, and be a regular car mechanic, a good husband, and build a perfect marriage, giving him enough sense of security.

This is the only thing I want to do in my peaceful remaining life. I think he knows he’s my wife since he has never denied it.

Persistent Ghost Monster, Undead, Non-Human Top and (Kidnapped) Neurotic Born Anti-Social Ex-Villain Bottom

Upcoming: “He Said He Would Never Smile at Me Again!”

Chi Lanyi received a mysterious message. The message said that his boyfriend of four years, Gao Rong, was taking revenge on him. The two’s careers were intertwined, inseparable. Gao Rong pampered Chi Lanyi so much that he didn’t even know how to start his car without him, couldn’t read maps, and didn’t know which laundromat his clothes were at. Chi Lanyi knew how Gao Rong cruelly took revenge on his business rivals.

Chi Lanyi was very puzzled, probing day by day: how exactly was Gao Rong taking revenge on him?

———

In a previous life, Chi Lanyi was extremely free-spirited, with nothing weighing him down. Gao Rong understood this better than anyone. With his genius, neurosis, fatal beauty, and tragic background, Chi Lanyi crashed into what should have been a normal trajectory of Gao Rong’s life. Gao Rong was supposed to become a great entrepreneur or a successful politician, not what he is now. Fortunately, he was reborn. Gao Rong looked at Chi Lanyi, thinking he would ruin Chi Lanyi this lifetime, turning him into someone who couldn’t live without him. Making himself the reins of Chi Lanyi. Chi Lanyi could no longer just tell him to get lost after an argument. After their fights, sitting on the ground, crying in self-pity, he’d remember that without Gao Rong, he wouldn’t even know how to buy things online. The next day, when he went out for a banquet, he couldn’t find his clothes.

Gao Rong watched him through the surveillance, waiting for Chi Lanyi to call him up, unable to bear it any longer. He climbed the stairs, smirking coldly.

Gao Rong knew he would definitely take revenge on Chi Lanyi. He would manage his company, take care of his daily needs, so that Chi Lanyi would never have to do anything besides art. He wouldn’t even have to swipe his card for meals or book a table because Gao Rong would do it. He wouldn’t have to wash clothes because Gao Rong would hire a professional team of maids and housekeepers. Without Gao Rong, he wouldn’t even know what to wear or eat the next day, or what he was allergic to.

And Gao Rong, he would never smile at him again while balancing the books, writing checks, or sending clothes to the dry cleaner!